For some time, something has been bothering me and I want to share it with those who struggle with their thoughts and feelings to stay “positive” rather than going down the rabbit hole to what isn’t wanted. Lest you think, I haven’t had the same challenges as you, perhaps we will set the record straight. I am a recovering “in-my-head, left-brain-focused” woman who is continuing the conscious daily journey to reconnect with my essence.
So…what’s up with this topic? I developed a persistent, very loud, inner critic that’s been with me since childhood. Let’s call her Gertrude, for the stern schoolmarm vision I had of her. Gertrude’s persistence has showed amazing dedication and perseverance too. I have appreciated these qualities in other contexts, not for what I considered unwelcome, overly loud critical messages that only seemed to batter my confidence, self-esteem, and wellbeing. Yet I also recognized that my own struggles with Gertrude helped me work powerfully and empathetically with clients who experienced this same challenge. I acquired an effective process to help my clients come to understand, appreciate, and transform their inner critics. Through the years, I made great progress in managing Gertrude’s negative impact, while also enjoying the benefits of her critical thinking skills. Even though there were periods of time when it seemed that perhaps I had finally conquered the downside of Gertrude’s presence, she would pop up again during periods of stress.
My personal dilemma was: Who could help me sort out and appreciate, yes even love, “Gertrude” so she could transform into a welcomed positive influence in my life?
Fast forward to recent times, when I had two amazing experiences: One night before falling asleep, I felt and saw myself fully aligned, and I called a friend/colleague/advisor as part of my regular reach-out process and asked for her help.
Experiencing alignment was no. 1. The first experience was so heartfelt and powerful, not only did I go to sleep fully knowing what true alignment felt like, but the whole next day I also felt tuned in, turned on, and excited about the way I felt and how wonderfully easy the day was. This was what I wanted in both my life and my clients’ lives: Experiencing ease, joyfulness, and peace of mind. Thus I began a quest to consistently experience those feelings of alignment.
For more of this article, order your copy of the April/May issue here.
Beth Williams
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- Lessons From My Brother - July 28, 2015
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