Editor’s Letter: My Cries Turn to a Prayer

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Mavian Arocha-Rowe-Deliverance-The Ruins-Chispa Magazine-End It Movement

While at The Grove a couple of weeks ago, a young, passionate woman humbly spoke of the organization God called her to start. In its beginning stages, she confessed to not seeing how God would create something big out of the mess of her past and the mundane of her every day. “God, you said to stick with it and you would make something big… I don’t see it,” she said.

Those words didn’t just nudge my heart, they pierced my insides. You see, those words voiced my unspoken thoughts. How interesting that two years ago, at the very same place, at the very same event, God gave me the vision of Chispa. Not just the vision, but the name, the look and feel, the detailed assignment. Yet, two years later, I just don’t see it. Where is big?

The talk at The Grove continued and so much of what Pastor Louie Giglio and wife Shelley shared, too pierced my insides. Toward the end, while others sang No Longer Slaves, I was mute. I scanned the large room and listened to the lyrics come from hundreds of women. I had never heard this song. Still mute, God began to detail the assignment for the Spring Issue. He titled it, The Freedom Issue. And, He said it would be big.

He told me which writers He wanted. He told me which photos He wanted. He told me who I should interview, who I should contact, and He even told me when it should be released. As I write, today, its five days before its release date and I just got up from the floor, in my closet, after sobbing for three hours… Where is big?

In my closet, I went back to the editor’s letter that I wrote for the Winter Issue; it said: I don’t care about social media following or if I lose followers because I turn them off with the mention of the Bible. Yet, I am lying to myself. I do care if readers are reading. I do care about affirmation. I do care if I am following His assignment. Where is big? I just don’t see it.

My poor husband who just witnessed a sad, overconsumed worry-monster left to spend the afternoon with our little Rio. Before he left he said, “Perhaps God just wants you to be a mom and a wife; I don’t know.” Those words keep ringing in my mind and with a migraine at bay I ask, “God what do I do? Should I not want big?” Yet, yes is busting out along with my tears.

Writers Maggie Sabatier-Smith wrote on freedom being a choice, Stephanie Loomis questioned what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman, Chris McMahan interviewed Mahtob Mahmoody, the woman who was enslaved by her father in Iran… all stories point to freedom. We all need freedom, including me. We need freedom of fear, freedom of uncertainty, freedom of doubt, freedom of unbelief, freedom of the demons that crowd our minds, freedom of this tainted society, freedom of ourselves. But how?

In the article, 27,000,000 Slaves and Counting I ask you to join us by marking a Red X on your hand as a way to tell the world that slavery still exists and you won’t stand for it. Just like we know a Red X won’t end physical slavery, but it raises the awareness, what if that Red X symbolically represented that we too need freedom from the tricks, the lies that keep our minds twisted with shackles?

I end this letter clinging on to The Ruins new song Deliverance: “I feel something inside me rising up, soon it will turn these walls to dust, and wash them burn… I am breaking out. You can’t hold me down. You can’t hold me down. I am breaking out. You can’t hold me down. You can’t hold me down. It’s time for my deliverance.”

God, help me see Your Big Face.
Mavian Arocha-Rowe-Chispa Magazine-Editor

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Mavian Arocha-Rowe

Mavian Arocha-Rowe

Editor-in-Chief at Chispa Magazine
Mavian Arocha-Rowe is known as an asset to the business and communications industry and is motivating and advocating “your authenticity should be your strategy,” for all women, regardless of their season and roles. For the past 20 years she has directed magazines, plus multiple art and marketing departments as creative director and brand manager. What supersedes all of her great career moves is her role as wife and mother living in Atlanta. Challenging herself to discover and bravely pursue the calling for her life, Arocha-Rowe helps other women discover and pursue their life’s assignment. She is a passionate, and loud-laughing speaker on the topic of purposefully redeemed, and mentors young women so they can exercise a mind that is doctrinally pure, along with a heart that beats toward sanctification. She will almost never turn down Marlow’s Tavern double-tavern cheeseburger, a cooking-demonstration from Leaning Ladder, or any opportunity to head to Miami to spend time with family.
Mavian Arocha-Rowe

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Mavian Arocha-Rowe

Mavian Arocha-Rowe is known as an asset to the business and communications industry and is motivating and advocating “your authenticity should be your strategy,” for all women, regardless of their season and roles. For the past 20 years she has directed magazines, plus multiple art and marketing departments as creative director and brand manager. What supersedes all of her great career moves is her role as wife and mother living in Atlanta. Challenging herself to discover and bravely pursue the calling for her life, Arocha-Rowe helps other women discover and pursue their life’s assignment. She is a passionate, and loud-laughing speaker on the topic of purposefully redeemed, and mentors young women so they can exercise a mind that is doctrinally pure, along with a heart that beats toward sanctification. She will almost never turn down Marlow’s Tavern double-tavern cheeseburger, a cooking-demonstration from Leaning Ladder, or any opportunity to head to Miami to spend time with family.