Create the habits that support your best life possible. Of course, that’s what we all want. As a coach, I invite my clients to take inventory of their habits—a treasure hunt that reveals best practices, as well as those that sabotage their success. While on the surface this may appear to be a simple weeding-out process—keep what works and let go of what doesn’t—it’s not that simple. As fellow writer and friend, Ginny Mink, said to me, “Wellness without a crutch is scary.”
First to consider… We are not alone in the struggle between doing what we want and discovering we do what we don’t want. In Romans 7:15-20, Paul shares his struggle with this very same thing. Our nature seeks to avoid hurt; we consciously or unconsciously do whatever it takes to accomplish this.
Our intention matters… My clients hire me to help them make changes. If their intention were to stay the same, then obviously coaching is not for them. Once they have inventoried their habits the question surfaces, “Do you want to be well (in other words, succeed and change)?”
Underlying the habits, we find their life experiences. I then invite them to consider why that habit matters. Without crossing the line into counseling vs coaching, I ask my client to briefly journey back into their memories and bring forward lessons learned and/or any unfinished business. We don’t stay in the past, instead, we notice issues in the present.
Their answers reveal much. It may reveal that while initially their habit seemed harmless, over time it has become a dependency, an addiction—a habit that successfully, consistently, and physiologically numbs or “quiets” whatever may be going on in their lives that wants to be silenced.
What now? Before I became a disciple of Jesus Christ, I would have answered, “It would require deliberate action (the decision to change) and ongoing practice (diligence).” While yes that’s true, my belief is that only Jesus can bring the healing and the deliverance from addictions. Only He can help us root out the underlying cause and find closure. We certainly have will power and can attempt to make the changes, but we may soon discover that we are powerless without God’s intervention. To piggy back on Mink’s comment, I say, “Wellness without Jesus is impossible.”
Where to begin? In John 5:6, Jesus asked, “…Do you want to be made well?” There are many resources for those who choose to seek healing from addiction, yet this article doesn’t offer strategies. Instead, it provides the question that will make the whole difference. Do you want to be well?
Photo by Esther Wiegardt
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