Couples dealing with infertility and subsequent treatments deal with emotional, physical, and financial stresses that can test their relationship. This is a tough time for both the parties involved and one needs to stand strong to be able to keep the relationship blossoming. However, you are not alone in this. According to National Survey of Family Growth 12 percent of married women have a difficult time conceiving and fortunately there is help available as according to stats 66 percent women (with infertility) that seek medical attention are able to conceive.
Infertility Diagnosis and the Road Ahead
Receiving a confirmed diagnosis can be devastating, you will be confused and at a loss. These feelings are perfectly normal and you do not have to be overwhelmed by them. Think of the confirmed diagnosis as the event that helped define a problem, now that you know it exists, you can take steps to solve it, there are a ton of treatment options available which are safe and have proven successful in majority of cases.
The Emotional Toll of Infertility
Starting a family can be the most exciting part of a couple’s life. For couples that are facing infertility and have to manage infertility treatments, the emotional toll is devastating. This physical, emotional and mental can end up hurting your relationship if you are not careful.
How Infertility Affects Relationships
Couples dealing with infertility often face a double toll. They have to come to terms with this troubling reality and have to realize that each of you is going through the same problem and in order to maintain healthy communication make sure both of you remember why you love your partner, and your reasons for wanting to have a child with him/her. Tackle the infertility issue as a partnership. Go to appointments together, help each other through the side effects, grieve and when it comes to sharing the news with friends and family, do it together.
Keeping Strong and Coping
Your coping skills will face a trial during this struggle, but you should remember the golden rule, communicate and help each other during these difficult times. In order to minimize the toll on your mind and body follow these steps:
- Acknowledge your feelings
- Share your questions and fears with each other
- Sometimes let go and allow yourself to cry and be angry
- Keep a journal and write down your thoughts
- Stay connected to your family and close friends
- Communicate with your partner
- Get informed to lessen uncertainty about the future
- Find ways to reduce stress
- Practice deep-breathing exercises
- Do not neglect your diet
Avoiding Blame and Other Negative Thoughts
It does not matter whether the medical issues are affecting one of you or both. Placing blame will build up bitter feelings of resentment and make you feel alone during this emotionally taxing time. Lean on each other for support and realize that your partner needs your support. No one has control over their infertility, so blame does not make any sense. Any factors that you could have changed, such as conceiving when you were younger, cannot be changed now. In most cases there was nothing that you could have done at any point of your life to avoid this. Better to face reality and be there for each other.
Men and women cope differently with such situations, if you are facing this issue, then give priority to your partner. Realize that you will deal with feelings of inadequacy, tension, and pressure. If you can’t break out of the negative patterns, then seek counseling, even a few short visits to a therapist will help you sort out what you are feeling. A therapist will teach you coping techniques that will help you keep a healthy relationship.
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Katrina Denning
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