How do you know when you’ve found the one? Well, first of all, what do I even mean by the one? I’m talking about the person you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with, sharing your dreams, and growing old with. Now, the romantics will say there’s a clear sign that you’ve found the one: it’s when you feel like someone in your life completes you. As if for years there was a part of your soul missing and when they appeared, well there it was. But, the question I’d like to ask is, whether there are signs in a relationship that point to forever?
It would be amazing if we could find these signs that show this; it would kill the divorce rate. You would find the person you were destined for… if you believe in such things. Of course, the problem with destiny is that like fate, if anything happens it was supposed to happen. So, if you do end up with the wrong person for a long time, that was all part of the plan. That’s why I guess so many people have trouble believing in fate. Or, is fate a modernized household name for the Holy Spirit or God? So… if you’re to go through a trial to become a better, polished human being; I say yes. However, that aside I do believe there are signs in a relationship that showcase strength and endurance.
Obviously, trust is a big part of any relationship. I often believe without trust a relationship is dead in the water. Or, at the very least, you should think about whether you should find couples therapy. A therapist can often determine what’s going wrong in a relationship and help you work through it. It’s quite clear to see when your relationship has trust. For one thing, you won’t be constantly checking their phone to find out who they’re talking to and what they’re doing. If you’re checking your partner’s phone when you’re dating, something is seriously wrong.
However, that doesn’t mean you can’t ask them questions about what they are doing. It’s a weird scenario when only you know if you trust your partner; only you know whether you’re asking them because you’re interested or because you think they are being deceitful. It’s likely if you can’t trust someone you won’t be able to commit to them. If your partner has lied it’s important to seek help. This is the only way you’ll be able to trust them again and save the relationship.
What Is Beauty?
If you find yourself asking this question, you’ve probably found the one right for you. Contrary to popular belief there is no such thing as beauty. There is attraction, based on primitive instincts. There is also an atypical version of beautiful that society deems fits the description. But, the truth is, anyone can be beautiful because beauty is a matter of perspective. It’s not the things that make people beautiful that we fall in love with. Usually, it’s the imperfections that make them different. That’s what we are drawn to. Those little crazy moments they will show only to you. If you find yourself looking at your partner and seeing beauty even on their worst days, you should commit to them. Of course, it certainly helps if they can do the same for you. If they don’t like looking at you early in the morning before the makeup goes on, it might be time to make a quick getaway.
Romance And The Day You Met
If you have been in a relationship for a long time, think back to the first day you laid eyes on your boyfriend. Or the first time you shared a kiss. Try to recall all the little feelings you had. Were the little bees buzzing in your stomach? Did your cheeks shine crimson after they heard you giggle? When they touched you, did your heart tremble. All these feelings are a sign of passion and romance. If you find it hard to recall these feelings, you might have found the romance and passion has gone from your relationship. That doesn’t mean that the one you are with isn’t right for you. But, you should work to get that romance and passion back, and it shouldn’t be that hard. When you start to think about the one you have chosen to share life with, you should slip back in love with them as easily as you did on that first day. How you build the romance in your relationship is up to you. It’s simply about giving each other more little moments, no matter how fleeting.
Well we can’t write about the pillars of a great marriage without mentioning sex can we? Although it’s hard to pinpoint the type of sex that shows you have a strong marriage, obviously you want it to be passionate and lasting more than five minutes. It shouldn’t just be one-way unless one person in the relationship has only the desire to give or receive. But, I think there is one clear sign that you are in a strong marriage when related to sex. If your partner can make you feel secure no matter what situation you are in, your sex life is amazing. Perhaps this links back to trust.
Finally, there is one clear sign you are in a relationship with someone who is certainly not the one. Remember when you find the one, you will be spending the rest of your life with them. That’s going to mean a lot of conversations, a lot of sex, and a lot of days that feel the same. That’s just how life is; imagine if you spent fifty years together. And yes there will be arguments, some serious, and others silly. But, if… through all that you can still love just sitting in one another’s company, no matter what you are doing, I congratulate you. I think it’s clear you have found your one. The other half of your soul.
There are over seven billion people in this world; seven billion souls. And as far as we know life only comes around once. Make it count and choose to live the way the Creator intended… full of trusting, sacred, and enduring love.
Photo by Sebastian Pichler