Is your significant other about to join the military? If so, there might be a lot of things running through your mind right now. Worry, pride, upset. Being a military wife (or girlfriend) can be a stressful time, but it doesn’t need to be unbearable. There are certain things you should know and some of which might make you feel more at ease.
It’s not the end of your relationship. So many women worry that when their husband joins the army, their relationship is going to be ruined. However, military marriages do work out. Sometimes better than others! It does take a lot of work, but it isn’t entirely impossible. Don’t be filled with despair if your partner says he’s going to join the military. Just focus on ways of making sure the relationship works.
Make sure you support each other. This is a really crucial piece of advice when it comes to military marriages. You might want to make him feel guilty or sad for leaving you, but chances are he already feels pretty bad. Instead of trying to push him the other way, make sure you give him support. He should also be doing the same for you. It’s a two-way street.
The time will fly by. When your partner says he’s going to be away for months at a time, the thought may seem daunting. However, the time will fly by quicker than you think. You may also be able to stay in one of the military apartments near his camp or base, even just for a few days. This means that the time you spend apart will be even shorter.
Keep yourself busy. Although we’ve said the time will fly by, it won’t if you’re moping about at home. If you want to have a successful military marriage, then you need to keep yourself busy. Organise plenty of things to do with your friends. Make sure you’ve got a job or hobby to keep you occupied. The time will only go quickly if you’ve got lots of things planned.
Coming home can be an adjustment. Most women think that their partner coming home will be a dream. However, there are some difficult changes your partner is going to need to make. Especially if they have previously been on deployment in a war zone. Make sure you’re there to support them and give them space if they need it.
Get help if you need it. Let’s be honest, having a partner in the military is not going to be easy. You may be wracked with worry or fear that something terrible is going to happen. You may just feel lonely. Make sure you have the right help and support, when you need it most. This could be through a strong circle of friends or perhaps even a counsellor. It’s okay to ask for help.
We hope these pointers will ease your mind a little. As mentioned, it’s not going to be all peaches and cream. However, it’s not completely impossible to get by.
Photo by Kim Cafferky
Mia Guerra
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