It may have been just a few weeks since your wedding vows, or perhaps years. It’s never too early or too late to take good care of your marriage. After all, your spouse is your gift from God. They are the safe keeper of your heart. No relationship runs smoothly all the time. And no marriage is going to survive without a little care and maintenance.
Be Polite
Think back to when you first met. Your tone of voice and choice of language was probably more formal and polite. Common courtesies were used at all times. As we become more familiar and comfortable with people, those formalities are easily lost. Reclaim them today. Say hi and bye. Ask how their day has been. Offer them a cup of coffee in a polite way. It shows respect between you too; it shows you care.
Help
As the years go by, we tend to take on our own tasks around the house. Once children arrive, this can easily become unbalanced, with one taking on more than the other. Difficult working lives can cause the same problems. If you use the last of the toilet paper, then replenish it. If the kids have dropped their clothes on the floor pick it up. If you can see something needs doing, do it.
Talk
Over time, you may find yourself sitting in the living room, facing in the same direction (watching TV, sitting in bed, driving the car), and not talking. This can easily go on for years. Make the effort to face each other every day. Some older couples claim they have nothing left to talk about, so why not find a hobby or interest that you both enjoy? This will spark conversation.
Arguments
Nobody can avoid arguments forever. Sometimes they suddenly erupt. Other times, they gradually build up. It’s healthy to have different opinions. Shouting at each other might suggest you’re not willing to consider the other person’s point of view, though. If the same problems keep coming up, think about taking on some marriage counseling. A third party can often help to discuss the issues calmly. And, they can help you both find clarity in the other person’s feelings.
Sex
For many couples, sex remains an important part of their relationship until death. For others, the sex stops altogether. However, most human beings need physical contact and intimacy. A good cuddle or hug might be enough for some, while others like to be touching as much as possible. Things will change over the years, but that doesn’t mean your feelings of love for each other have.
Kids
Many marriages form because both partners want a family. Sometimes this doesn’t happen. Whether you have children or not, being parents is not the same as being a husband or a wife. Your relationship with each other should not affect your ability to be a good parent.
But, most importantly, understand that marriage isn’t meant to make you happy, it’s intended to make you holy. Preserving, nurturing, and maintaining your marriage as your no. 1 earthly priority is incredibly rewarding. Look after your life partner, and share a marriage of joy, together.
Photo by Josh Felise
Mavian Arocha-Rowe
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