Debbie Melnick: Mama, Founder + CEO of Debbie Lynn, Inc, Friend, Daughter, Sister, Aunt + Fiancé.
What have you overcome? I woke up on February 14, 2005 and my life would never be the same. I could not see. After rushing to the ER, a spinal tap, an MRI, a CAT scan, blood work, numerous assessments, and six hours later I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. While my sight slowly returned over the course of three months, as that is how relapsing remitting MS works, I went into a planning mode so that I could keep my business and life working.
Multiple Sclerosis has a way of instilling fear and terror in those struck with the neurological disease because anything can happen at any time. Not only did I have to learn to deal with the physical issues like endless fatigue, agonizing pain, and loss of balance, I had to deal with the mental anguish of worrying about what would be thrown at me next.
The only way that I would survive this illness, was to develop the confidence that I could handle what it would throw at me. I developed a strength that I did not know I had. Worrying is a waste of time and energy, but difficult to remove from our life. So I developed ways to change my thoughts when I begin to worry. If I notice I am stressing over a possible new symptom, I fill my thoughts with positive images. I imagine fields of sunflowers, or force myself to think about the opposite of my fear and focus on that. If I’m afraid that I will be too exhausted to work tomorrow, I force myself to think about the opposite. What if I wake up and have tons of energy? What would I achieve first? I learned to notice when I was ruminating over negative thoughts and fears and managed to turn them into positive forces in my life. I stopped letting Multiple Sclerosis run my life.
Before pregnancy I was up and around. After pregnancy, I was confined to a wheelchair. The MS had attacked my spine while I was pregnant. If you had told me that I would not be able to carry my child around in my arms, feed him his endless bottles, change his diapers, dress him, pick him up when he begs to be picked up, chase him around the yard, be alone with my child, help him up when he falls without help, I would not have believed it or could I have imagined it.
When all of the abilities of a typical mom have been stripped away, I have been forced to find ways to connect with my child that resonate in both our souls so we have an amazing bond in spite of what I cannot do. On top of it all, I am a working mom. While I provide him with all that he needs, as a baby or toddler, he doesn’t quite understand that.
For more of Debbie Melnick, and the many faces of perseverance order your copy of the November | December, Overcoming Issue here.
Mavian Arocha-Rowe
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