The Most Rewarding Job Of All?

Child Adoption-Chispa MagazineHave you ever considered fostering a child? Fostering a child is something that I have actually always thought I should do, but have never had the courage to go ahead with. I’m a writer and a freelancer, so I am lucky enough to work from home, but I’m also all too familiar with late bills and beans-on-toast for dinner.

Now, I am not saying I would ever become a foster parent just because I want to earn more money, but I do think I could explore it as a career because I know I would be good at it. Coming from a huge family, I’m used to caring for younger siblings and cousins, and it genuinely breaks my heart that there are children out there that need a home that no one is offering them.

So, I decided to do my research. I asked around a few agencies to see if they knew any foster carers that would be willing to chat to me about what being a foster carer is actually like.

I had a chat with Lucy*, a single mom of three who starting her fostering journey a little over six years ago. She held little back, telling me of all the trials and tribulations that come with of being a foster parent.

You can read our chat below, where she let me know what makes her continue to make a difference in children’s and young people’s lives….

Tell me a little about yourself and your fostering journey so far… I have raised three sons of my own, and I am now a single carer. I have been a foster parent for over six years. During this time, I’ve looked after children ranging from six months up to 19 years of age. I have even had a parent and child placement stay with me. I have been involved in the bridging of two adoptions, one for a two-year-old and one for a four-year-old, and have looked after various other children including a young adult with mental health issues. I have seen a lot in this time.

What made you decide to take that first step and inquire about becoming a foster parent? At the time I was doing voluntary work helping young families who were having problems coping. I felt that that wasn’t enough and I wanted to do more to help children. As I had longed to become a foster carer for a long time, I decided that at the tender age of 49 I would find out if I was still young enough, as it is at that age you have a lot of life experiences which help with taking care of young people. After going through the process my fostering career started.

Tell me about your experience of taking that first placement. How did you feel? My first placement was two siblings, at this stage you feel that you can “fix” everything and make the world a better place, but soon realize there are limitations to what you can do to help a child. One of these children went on to be successfully adopted while the other stayed in care. While it was sad to see only the youngest sibling was able to be adopted it was also the best thing for the child. A forever family was identified and the bridging began, and at least one of the family was given the opportunity to have a more stable and better future.

What do you think the biggest myth is surrounding fostering? I think initially people think fostering is just about looking after a child as in feeding, clothing, providing a home for the child, etc. But children are all different and are little adults in the making, children in the care system have complex additional needs, which are sometimes harder to understand and help with.

Tell me about the positives you have experienced during your foster placements? Fostering comes with lots of different positives, from just being able to provide a safe and loving home for a child, getting a child back into regular education to bigger situations like moving a child onto an adoptive family if they cannot go back to live with their birth family. I have been privileged to have been able to bridge two adoption placements. Being a small cog in a big wheel and being such an important part of a child’s life that has gone on to have a forever family and a secure future is an amazing feeling. A few years out of your life helping a child has a big impact on the whole of their life.

How do you think the young people feel coming into your home for the first time? I expect this depends on the age of the child and their background. I expect younger children will be afraid, as you are a stranger to them and they may have bad experiences of strangers. They will worry about what you expect of them and if you will like them, will you feed them and look after them, and be wondering what they have done wrong that has made them be taken from their parents. Also when will they be able to see their parents and possibly siblings again.

If you could encourage anyone to become a foster parent what would you say? Being a foster parent is not always an easy thing to do, it is a very emotional path to take. I would encourage anyone considering becoming a foster carer to learn as much as possible about it and consider the impact fostering will have on their own family and lifestyle. If their heart was still in it I would say go for it as you could be the one to make a difference.

Why do you continue to foster children and young people? Once you become a foster parent it soon becomes a way of life, whether it’s helping a young person mature and become independent or working towards moving a child onto an adoption placement, introducing them to their forever parents and settling them into their new home. Whatever the progress a child makes whilst with you, it is an amazing and fulfilling feeling to have been part of their lives.

Lucy* fosters through a private fostering agency called Lorimer Fostering in Manchester. Her name has been changed to protect her identity.

Zoe O’Donoghue works at the agency, she says, “There is no denying that taking that first step towards becoming a foster carer can be quite daunting. You are are unsure as to what to expect—but do not fear, there will always be someone to help you every step of the way. Being a foster parent gives you the opportunity to make immeasurable differences not only to the lives of the young people you care for but for your own too!”

Photo by Tina Floersch

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Beth Pembrook

Beth Pembrook

Bethany Pembrook is a freelance researcher and writer for a number of online publications. She covers a wide range of topics but works chiefly within the lifestyle, health and beauty sectors as both a researcher and content producer. In her free time, she is an avid runner and cyclist, but she also loves settling down with a good book and heading out with friends for a cocktail or two.
Beth Pembrook

Latest posts by Beth Pembrook (see all)

Beth Pembrook

Bethany Pembrook is a freelance researcher and writer for a number of online publications. She covers a wide range of topics but works chiefly within the lifestyle, health and beauty sectors as both a researcher and content producer. In her free time, she is an avid runner and cyclist, but she also loves settling down with a good book and heading out with friends for a cocktail or two.