“It was like… magic.” How many of us remember that line from the movie Sleepless in Seattle? In the movie Sam Baldwin (Hanks) describes it like this, “It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together, and I knew it. I knew it the first time I touched her. It was like coming home, only to no home I’d ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car, and I knew it. It was like magic.”
When it comes to romance, I’m guessing each of us have a picture in our mind of what magic looks and feels like. If you are in a relationship now, you are probably rewinding back to that moment when you first felt it and knew, it was like magic. But what about today? Has the face of magic changed over the years? Are you still able to describe it?
Some may be stuck in the how-things-used-to-be ideal and as a result are disappointed with their current reality. As someone who has loved and lost, as well as loved and is still loving, I have some lessons learned to share with you. May I?
For that happily ever after relationship…
- Magic, much like each of us, changes over time.
- Magic grows richer and deeper, sometimes invisible yet it’s gentle hum is felt under the roar of your everyday life.
- Magic shows up in the midst of the mundane: yard work, painting, sharing an inside joke, finishing each other’s sentences, changing a poopy diaper, and so much more.
- Magic shows up that moment when you introduce him to others and notice how he interacts—the gift he is to others.
- Magic shows up when he grabs your hand and says, “Let’s pray.”
- Magic needs to be nurtured—it can’t sustain itself.
- There’s so much more… Actually, why don’t you write your own list?
I’ve recently gone through a “Where has all the magic gone?” season in my relationship. Yes, even as a SENIORita and after 21 years of marriage, I wanted the magic. It happens. We are not wired to stay on the romance magic mountain for long periods of time. Life challenges get in the way and we forget—we get tired and lean into that neutral zone of coexisting. We are, however, meant to stay intentional about creating those magic pockets of time. Many women wait for the knight in shining armor—we expect our partner to come home from a long day at work and sweep us off our feet. Seriously?
How I Found My Magic…
I took a time out. I took my whining to Jesus. Oh yes, I told Him everything that was wrong with my relationship. Clearly, I wanted Him to act on my behalf. What He said:
“Why would you focus on the flaw in someone else’s life and yet fail to notice the glaring flaws of your own? How could you say to your friend, ‘Let me show you where you’re wrong,’ when you’re guilty of even more? You’re being hypercritical and a hypocrite! First acknowledge your own ‘blind spots’ and deal with them, and then you’ll be capable of dealing with the ‘blind spot’ of your friend.” -Matthew 7:3-5 TPT
He took the “but God” right out of my conversation. Yes, I was to trust Him for the outcome, but only focus on my side of the equation.
And so, I did. I self-examined—noticed my part and purposed to do better. I continued to pray until one morning the magic happened. It had nothing to do with my husband but everything to do with the Joy of the Lord. I suddenly felt joy bubbling up inside of me—couldn’t wait to see what God was about to do in our relationship.
While we may go through seasons of disappointments, if we stay close to the One who is the true giver of Joy, we will experience the miracle of transformation. We will experience His Joy, even in the midst of an unchanged reality. Is this your call to action? I invite you to take your whining to the Lord. He’s a great listener. But then, stop talking and start listening. He may very well have a next step for you to take.
Photo by Karly Santiago